Some church people really suck.

Here’s a conversation I had with my wife yesterday. Read it and laugh or weep, depending on your particular circumstance. I thought it was priceless. Your mileage may very.

Michelle: “Someone wants me to counsel them.”

Ken: “So what’s the hold up?” (I figure she’s been through hell and back with me in the ministry and she can handle pretty much anything.)

Michelle: “If you’ll just wait a minute I’ll tell you what she needed.” (Testy or comfortable with me?…We’ve been married 19 years. Comfortable.)

Ken: “Yes, dear.”

Michelle: “One of my friends at work moved to FBC ____________ about a year ago. She and her husband joined the young married’s class. They saw a huge need to do baby showers and take dinners to first time mothers after they deliver.”

Ken: “Okay.”

Michelle: “Here’s the rub. The teacher’s wife is mad at her because the class has tripled in the last year.”

Ken: “Let me guess. The teacher and his wife have been at FBC ___________ their whole life.”

Michelle: “Exactly. The teacher’s wife chewed her out in front of brand new members and said, ‘There’s no reason to give baby showers to new mothers. We’ve never done that.’ My friend was really embarrassed. She went to the education minister and told him what was going on. He told her to keep doing what she’s doing.”

Ken: “So what’s her problem? Why did she ask you about it?”

Michelle: “The lady blew up again in a very public venue. It embarrassed my friend so much she’s beginning to wonder if they need to just leave the church. What should I tell her. She can’t let that hag win.”

Ken: “Well, they won’t exercise church discipline. Not at an FBC, and especially since the lady’s been there forever. Tell her to go to the education minister with her husband and ask if they can start a new Sunday School class.”

Michelle: “Just bypass her and let her have her little piece of real estate?”

Ken: “Tell her to plow around the stump. The education minister gets the kudos for starting another Sunday School class, the hag gets her own thing, and your friend gets to keep doing ministry.

Michelle: “That’s why we do traditional church honey.”

Ken: “Yep.”

The last time we had a small group leader that caused problems the elders gave them administered Matthew 18. Imagine that, church discipline. After three attempts to correct and redirect the situation, they were asked to step down. They left the church. Thank God I don’t pastor FBC wherever anymore…

A really good project minus the f-bomb

I wasn’t a fan of U2 back in the days of Under a Blood Red Sky or Joshua Tree. In retrospect, it was/is good music but back then I was fighting the whole alternative scene and desperately clinging to my VanHalen and Boston LPs. I knew U2 had a spiritual bent but I honestly was clueless about postmodern thought and methods.

I’m still clueless about a lot of things, but I understand the method and brand of spirituality of How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. The lyrics on this project are really good. The music is polished and I must admit the acquired taste is very pleasing. Yahweh is an especially good song. Not one that our Jewish friends will cling to soon. Maybe they should have released an alternate version entitled Adonai. OK, maybe that’s a bit too PC.

Mostly, I like the project because the band doesn’t drop the f-bomb or anything else of the sort. I was disappointed when Bono let it slip a while back. I think if I ever ran into him I would, as a brother in Christ, call his hand on it. I am dying to know how he would respond…In humility or in the arrogance that comes with rock icon status? I’ll probably never know.

Bottom line…if you’re even close to liking U2 I recommend this project. It’s well worth the $9.72 at WalMart.