Holy (freaking) matrimony

Holy matrimony. Where did that word combination come from anyway? Well, it comes from The Common Book of Prayer that was written in 1549 A.D. just three years after Martin Luther’s 95 Theses were nailed to the doors of a church in Wittenberg, Germany. What is now known as the Episcopal Wedding Service has been repeated millions of times, though it isn’t used as much as it used to be…

Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony.

Okay, so much for the church history lesson. You’re not here for that. You’re here because you’re looking for some answers to your holy freaking matrimony.

Remember the phrase idealistic perception from the last post? If not, scroll down and read it. Idealist perceptions gone wild end up ruining a lot of marriages. The main reason idealistic perceptions cause big problems is that they’re generated by self-centered, self-serving people. They’re the people that start most of their sentences with first person pronouns.

It’s the man that thinks his wife should look like Salma Hayek…after she’s had three kids….while she works 40 hours a week…and cleans the house because that’s what women do…and gets up with the kids at 2:47 a.m. Did I mention she should look like Salma Hayek until she’s 60? Excuse me, dude, I think the world actually does revolve around you.

Oh, yeah…and then there’s the biggest one of the biggest idealistic perception/oxymorons ever conceived by humanity, male and female alike. Here it is. Ready. Wait for it….

“I’m not in love with him anymore. We’ve grown apart.”

Give me a freaking break….I mean, we will prayerfully consider that in the another post.