When children sleep with parents…

Posted by in Holy Freaking Matrimony, parenting on Apr 29th, 2009 | 0 comments
A couple has a child.  They’re ecstatic.  The little guy or darling angel of a girl is the center of attention.  The parents are awe struck at this pint sized human being they’ve both contributed to making.  They feed, burp, change, and hold the bundle of joy.   Parenting is great.  They glow when people in the mall remark how cute their child is.  After a long day the parents get the cutie patootie ready for bed.  Success.  The bundle of joy is sleeping like a rock….for the next three hours.  
For whatever reason, the child simply won’t go back down.  Feeding, burping, changing, rocking, colic drops…nothing works.  The parents are weary, bleary, and teary.  They look at each other and say, “The baby can sleep with us just one night, right?”.  So the baby snuggles in for the night.  That was easy enough.  But it happens a lot.  A pattern begins to appear.
The beautiful bundle of joy is now a toddler.  The little cutie patootie has developed manipulation skills far beyond their years and knows that the parents will let them into their bed if they work it just right.  The parents like their sleep and don’t like the hassle of dealing with a whining, tantrum throwing toddler.  So, they give in.  After a few nights when Mom or Dad says, “Let’s go to bed”, the contracted second person plural pronoun they are referring to means Mom, Dad, and a little short person that’s on their way from being what was the center of attention to the main power broker of the family.
Months or even weeks later, a few precious hours of sleep on the front end have turned into a very frustrating marriage and parenting problem.  
When children sleep with parents for an extended period of time (like months) it’s a sign that a husband and wife’s relationship is unhealthy.
Sound like the bed you’ve made for yourself?   You don’t have to lie in it.  Check back or subscribe to the blog because I’ll be letting you know how to get out of this parent trap.

Perez Hilton’s and Miss California’s “firestorm”

Posted by in culture on Apr 21st, 2009 | 0 comments

So Perez Hilton, the celebrity blogger, asked a question to Carrie Prejean (Miss California) pertaining to California’s same sex marriage law and followed up with, “”Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”. Not only did he say that her answer (born from her values and spoken with authenticity) cost her the title, he then vilified her by calling her a “dumb *%$@#”

“If you can’t say anything good…“
Let me start by saying that I think the structure of Mr. Hilton’s question was solid. Great setup, good application, and then a qualifying wrap. My appreciation for his interview skills and as a reputable blogger and especially a beauty pageant judge pretty much ends there.

“Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.“
So it seems that just about anyone can be a judge at a beauty pageant. I mean after all, I could be one. I blog. I’m a guy. I’m a pretty good judge of beauty (you reading this Michelle?). I am a student of popular culture and have been told I have some mad relationship skills. I haven’t even gotten to my signature square glasses and my ever evolving “doo”. My question is, “When do I get my phone call to get that gig?”

The answer will be, “Never”. Mostly because I’m happily married and Michelle would slap me into next year. Another stellar reason is that just because I have the same qualifications as Mr. Hilton doesn’t mean that I should take the gig. In fact, even though I have one more qualification than Mr. Hilton I shouldn’t take the gig. You see, I’m not gay and he is. I have one more qualification than Mr. Hilton does in this instance.

Out of sheer curiosity I ask the question; Why would a beauty pageant ask an openly gay man to be a judge for a clearly heterosexual event? That’s like inviting a livestock judge go to the Westminster Dog Show. It just doesn’t make sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from homophobic. Quite the contrary. I have gay friends. It just seems stupid to have a gay man judge a beauty pageant.

What’s worse is to have an inconsiderate, under-qualified judge at a competition that’s clearly lost any relevance that it could possibly have ever possessed.

Oh yeah, the whole just because you can doesn’t mean that you should thing comes from an ancient spiritual text that says something like “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” Smoke some of that.

As a side note, I’m positive that if someone called Mr. Hilton a “@#&^%$# whatever” for responding with his clearly biased opinion of Ms. Prejean’s answer, he would use his media leverage to smear someone else.