When children sleep with parents…

A couple has a child.  They’re ecstatic.  The little guy or darling angel of a girl is the center of attention.  The parents are awe struck at this pint sized human being they’ve both contributed to making.  They feed, burp, change, and hold the bundle of joy.   Parenting is great.  They glow when people in the mall remark how cute their child is.  After a long day the parents get the cutie patootie ready for bed.  Success.  The bundle of joy is sleeping like a rock….for the next three hours.  

For whatever reason, the child simply won’t go back down.  Feeding, burping, changing, rocking, colic drops…nothing works.  The parents are weary, bleary, and teary.  They look at each other and say, “The baby can sleep with us just one night, right?”.  So the baby snuggles in for the night.  That was easy enough.  But it happens a lot.  A pattern begins to appear.

The beautiful bundle of joy is now a toddler.  The little cutie patootie has developed manipulation skills far beyond their years and knows that the parents will let them into their bed if they work it just right.  The parents like their sleep and don’t like the hassle of dealing with a whining, tantrum throwing toddler.  So, they give in.  After a few nights when Mom or Dad says, “Let’s go to bed”, the contracted second person plural pronoun they are referring to means Mom, Dad, and a little short person that’s on their way from being what was the center of attention to the main power broker of the family.

Months or even weeks later, a few precious hours of sleep on the front end have turned into a very frustrating marriage and parenting problem.  

When children sleep with parents for an extended period of time (like months) it’s a sign that a husband and wife’s relationship is unhealthy.

Sound like the bed you’ve made for yourself?   You don’t have to lie in it.  Check back or subscribe to the blog because I’ll be letting you know how to get out of this parent trap.