Avoid the “d” word

My wife and I love to sit around on Saturday mornings with cup of coffee and talk. It doesn’t happen all of the time but when it does, it’s great.

This morning we were planning the day, negotiating housework chores, wondering what an empty nest looks like and blogging. Michelle wondered why I hadn’t written about why it’s important to avoid using the “D” word. It’s definitely helped us and our kids. Maybe it will help you, too.

Okay, babe. This one’s for you (us).

There’s a non-negotiable rule at the Miller house. We don’t use the word “divorce” in any conversation related to our marriage or our kids. Period.

We decided from the very beginning of our marriage to avoid the “d” word. We still avoid using the word after 23 years of marriage. People ask us if we think it’s some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy we were trying to avoid. Not so much. It sure doesn’t hurt to look at it that way.

We’ve chosen to avoid the “d” word because we want our kids to have a sense of stability. It’s important to us for our kids to know that Mom and Dad will be there, as a couple, until we die.

It’s important to our kids, too. When our kids were younger, they independently asked us if we would ever get divorced. We told them divorce wasn’t a possibility for us. We told them Mom and Dad were committed to each other for the rest of our lives. Our kids needed to hear that.

Your kids need to hear that, too.

Let your kids know that you’re committed to each other. Avoid using the “d” word. Don’t even use it when you’re kidding. There’s an ancient proverb that says, “Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Using the “d” word in any context erodes the most important and fundamental component of a healthy marriage….trust.

“So what you’re saying is…”

Footnote: Michelle and I aren’t perfect. We’re capable of messing up just like anyone else. We’re just passionate about our relationship and our marriage.